Names My Sisters Call Me
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I am really impressed by your gentle and helpful replies to the comments you have received to your informative article. I do sometimes like to read the comments to articles, just being curious, or if I found the article interesting, and so often, the writer never answers the comments. You, however, seem to answer most or all, even ones that I, myself, thought were just misguided or irrelevant. You showed me that even those deserved your consideration and thoughtful reply. Just wanted to say you made me feel humble and you inspired me to be less critical of others, because under all the ranting and poor grammar is perhaps an individual who is hurting and needs a hand to get through a tough time.
I was raised by a psychotic malignant narcissist for 18 yrs. I have also just put the pieces together that my sister in law is also a psychotic malignant narcissist with histrionic tendencies. She has diagnosed me with Complex PTSD due to the years of abuse as a child, and now this person as a constant trigger. The saddest part about all of it is the way she uses her children as pawns within the family and with her ex husband and then tells us that we are cruel to her kids.
We have 2 teenagers and a pre-teen. And we choose NOT to drink with our kids. I am a born again Christian, which of course is their primary way of attacking me. Apparently I am supposed to perfect because of my faith, and I apparently want everyone to believe that I am perfect.. No more lies.
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No more projecting. And all of the other family members just stand there and let her talk that way. And they defend her and say all she wants is for all of us to just get along. I can handle it! I do want to share a few titles of books that I have read lately that I have found tremendously helpful :. I hope these titles help someone else like they did me.
Thank you for your blog, its very helpful and a great resource. You have so much insight. I honestly believe that people are more beautiful for the breaks. We all have them. There are some great titles here. The response to this post has been enormous — there are so many people struggling with toxic people in their lives. Toxic people will only ever go for kind, reasonable, generous ones. I LOVE hearing when people have broken away. Thank you so much for making contact with me.
Love this article. I thought my life was HELL when it was just my boyfriend living with me but it has quadrupled since my brother 46 moved in on Feb. And he still acts like a teenager and contributes nothing to help with household expenses. Good luck to everyone else who may be in a similar situation.
I feel your pain. Living with people with this degree of insanity and toxicity is nothing short of psychological torture and they should be arrested for that and also for attempted murder of the soul. I just wish I had a support system in place to help speed up the process. I just wanna bring 2 things to your attention. When I first started discovering about narcissism, my own husband was the source, I sounded just like you.
Constantly trying to show how THEY were so awful and exactly why! I was beyond consolable by all the awful things he said about me and called me. I was in my third therapist office crying and explaining this to her and she stopped me dead in my tracks. I sat there stunned.
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She then sat down and said no matter how many ways or how loud I yell at that red chair will never be black. Do you understand? It never will be the truth. So, let it go. Next, I remember sitting in one therapist office with the same kind of rant you have just posted, this time about my brother.
She could have hit me between the eyes with a shotgun! It was TRUE!! I was giving their opinions of me meaning! She was right. After that I just quit any contact and any reaction. I even quit talking about them to other people and if anyone started to bring them up I stopped them right away. Is live better now! Good luck. Please tell me what do I do to get them out of my life and putting them in their place! I need advice asap on this friendship. I wish I could be more helpful. Strong boundaries, low contact and just walking away have worked for me.
Calling me by my sister's name.
I bowl with a woman who is like this. I am polite and only talk about things like the weather and bowls…never anything personal.
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Good luck! Low contact is one of the most manipulatively malicious narcissistic sociopathic psychopaths there is. I learned the hard way not to wear my heart on my sleeve around people like this, else they win my trust only to use my confidences against me. Low — or no contact — is essential when you are dealing with someone who thinks that the problem is everyone else except themselves. When they will not accept boundaries and blame you for everything, then you have the right to protect yourself.
Hi I love the education Life experiences that you share with us all out here. You have helped me a lot. To try move forward even when dealing with controlling and narcissistic relationships that try to make us feel like were worthless. Especially when nothing ever gets resolved with these kind of people all we can do is pray for these people and pray for ourselves hopefully They move forward and learn something to thank you LP. This may sound like a crazy way to get rid of them but, from LOTS of experience I can tell you it works!! Keep everything superficial. These vultures LOVE drama!
They are only concerned with getting a reaction or a rise out of you. Just be a grey rock. No reaction, nothing great in your, let everything slide off your back. The behaviors in this article describe my spouse of several decades. I have come to recognize them, but after so many years, I still cannot address them any better than pointing them out to her, which just starts a new round of recriminations. How do I get a toxic person to see the error of their ways and address their own issues, rather than projecting on me? I agree with Sara, this article completely describes the nurse assist in my life!
For the past two years I have tried to work things out. She starts with picking at me, trying to start fights with me and this time she went as low as making up a fake profile and blaming me for things that another sister In law was writing. And now her excuse for not talking to me is because I supposedly told my other sister In law about her fake profile! She has gone as low as posting horrible tho ha about myself and my other sister in law and when confronted she plays victim and says its us. I hate to say it but I am so glad that she is no longer in my life because the ones in my life are absolutely amazing.
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Blood is def not thicker then water sometimes. Toxic family members are harder to walk away from but well done to you for your insight and being able to see it for what it is. Thank you for taking the time to comment — I hope things settle down for you soon. What should I do? They interupted our conversation to begin with?! She is mad that he will not go to their house because I am not welcome and that he will not watch her kids all the time for her to go out and drink or act a fool. He is trying to bring his family and I together, but she pits everyone against me.
Btw I do not respond to her only tell my husband how I feel because I choose not to stoop to her level… I am getting to the point I want to show things like this article to her… Her drama will not stop but my husband does not wish to stop talking to her either…. You just completely described the narcissists in my life. Sadly one is currently destroying a friendship group moving from person to person befriending them on a high scale and dropping them when it suits.